&writer. &editor. &phd.
The assimilation often and subtly advocated for by the cast of Queer Eye, which asks members of the queer community to consider the roles stereotyping can play in preventing them from building bridges with other non-queers, fails to understand that this assimilation does nothing but paint over the decades of trauma caused by Evangelical Christianity’s treatment of queer people.
Being white in these spaces means recognizing that you exist in these spaces, as in all other spaces, from a point of privilege and further recognizing that you are so often accustomed to acting certain ways in other spaces because of the privilege your whiteness grants you. In recognizing the ways in which you are accustomed to take up space, you need to critically analyze yourself in these party spaces and constantly be aware of how you are acting–it is your job to ensure you are acting respectfully and no one else’s.
An appreciation for pop culture’s female figures is for many gay men, then, definitive of how we come to understand ourselves and our own identities. These pop queens represent to any young gay boy the victory of the non-masculine, of the feminine, of the beautiful and glamorous, over the burdensome and toxic weights of masculinity we fight to overcome. It comes as no surprise, then, that with the speculative rise of one of our very own queens to the highest political office in the United States comes a great deal of excitement.
In being gay, the possibility of death is ever-present, reminding you that your own deviancy is a threat to the people around you. And they will kill you if given the opportunity. This is homophobia. This is society. This is homophobic society. Even post-1996, the year that modern medicine stopped AIDS from being a death sentence, being queer is still marked by an orientation towards death that cannot be escaped. To be queer is to be condemned to death.
Dating apps — and so-called hook up apps — certainly have their problems, problems that can be critiqued from multiple angles, but perhaps dating apps also provide us with a new way of embracing something we all desperately need and crave: community. When it comes to those of us who have a more marginalized social identity (be it sexual orientation, gender identity, or anything else) who might not so easily enjoy the comfortability of existing and interacting with new people in typical in-person social situations, these apps can provide us with real community building opportunities.
How My Leather Jacket Changed My Life
As I walked through my neighborhood, which for decades has played host to all varieties of gay men and their subcultures, I looked at the contemporary men around me – gay men who notoriously do not look like me with my piercings and tattoos and leather jacket – and felt strengthened because being desired and desiring, the intertwining of both which plays itself out in power, felt for me, for the first time, comfortable, open, Erik. What I had always thought impossible, a feeling of confident, public and personal masculinity, was in fact exactly what made me most comfortable.